Many people are not sure what to expect the first time they see a therapist – I mean, you have already probably done a lot of work by the time you get there.  You found a therapist who takes your insurance, you’ve adjusted your schedule or called around to find someone whose schedule matches yours, but unless you’ve been to therapy before, the next part might be unexpected.  

With specific questions, clinical skills, and hopefully, empathy, your therapist will learn all kinds of things about you in that first hour.  You, however, might not feel like you know very much about this person to whom you just spilled your life story. I have heard clients and colleagues say that they have left first sessions with new therapists feeling empty, like they poured out everything and left feeling a little unsure of themselves and about whether or not therapy was a good idea after all.  

It is normal for therapists not to volunteer much information about themselves or their lives, mostly to help keep the relationship professional, where the focus is on you and what you need.   I mean that’s why you’re there, right?

Sure – BUT the two of you are about to embark on a venture together to figure somethings out and sometimes, it is helpful to know a little bit about who it is that will be walking through this with you.  In order to do that, you may need to ask some questions. In fact, I highly recommend asking questions. Asking questions is much faster and direct than other ways of gathering information…I’m looking at you Google.  

The catch here is that there are some questions that most therapists have been trained to not answer, for many reasons, some ethical and some related to general avoidance of risk.  So, I will tell you what some of those questions are and will offer you some other ways to ask those instead.

The therapist is the trained professional in the room, but you are the expert on your life and what it feels like to live it.  The initial session with a therapist is a chance for you to make sure that the person in the room with you is someone that you believe can help you.  

Feel free to comment below on questions that you like to ask or if you’re a therapist, questions you like to be asked during initial sessions.